The "Complicated" Thingy in my FB account

..just this week I changed my status profile form single to “it’s complicated”…and most of my friends were asking me to tell them the whole story… so for those who know this blog site, I’m going to share it to you… :)

..reviewing on my previous post, I broke up with my bf last December ‘coz he’s really against my FA dream… and because I am single right now, I am open to dating…  My bestfriend who happened to be a guy, was there for me, cheered me up when I’m down and supported me in reaching my FA dream..  actually, even the little things in me, he knows a lot… and I’m happy that he knows me very well… oh well to cut it short, he told his feelings already about me… and of course, when I found out I was shocked…but I’m happy in a way ‘coz if he’ll be my boyfie, I’m pretty sure that I’m in safe hands, he’s a faithful guy I know that and the fact that I’m comfortable bein’ with him and I trust him a lot…

sooo where’s the complicated part?..  my parents like my ex over him, especially my mom… she’s pro ex.. as in! the reason why?.. kasi daw si “ex” financially stable and hindi nako magpapakahirap magwork pa… mas secured daw future ko with my ex.. I know that my mom is just thinking of my future…  she only likes my “bes” as my bestfriend… and nothing more than that..  my bestfriend is just like me working also in a diagnostic company but he is a Product Manager by the way… even the college friend which I happened to introduce  to my mom, ayaw din nia para sakin…negative din sa kanya.. haayyyy… :(

until now, my ex is trying to win me back, and he’s kinda seeking the help of my parents…. Pero ayaw nia talaga na mag-FA ako which I don’t get to understand his reasons… hindi nia maintindihan na yun ang gusto ko at dream na dream ko… kaya naiinis ako!

I like to obey my parents pero sa pagkakataon na’to parang hindi ko na ata kayang makipagbalikan kay ‘ex’ at isuko nalang basta basta ang FA dream ko… and iniisip ko din pano na bestfriend ko…  

So ‘til now, im still weighing things… me and my bestfriend are still best of friends.. and I don’t know yet if we’ll be together as “bf-gf” someday… the decision is all in me.. to choose between my ex or my bes is one of the decisions i have to face right now.. and still undecided…

so guys, what do you think??? I’ll be happy to know your opinions… 

with bes @ rali's grill subic                                                                                   

bes & his pamangkin (he's super duper  fond of kids)

HELLO 2010! Ü

My year 2009 has been a good year for me. Even though I’ve experienced a lot of struggles and difficulties, it was still a good year that I’ve learned new things and made me become a stronger, I mean a “much stronger person”.

This year became a topsy-turvy year for my love life. And since we parted and ended our relationship as bf-gf. I’m still very thankful that we ended up friends... Yes, it was so hard for me to give up on him.

This December, for the nth time that he have asked me to marry him....

I answered him “Gusto kong pakasal sa’yo kaso makakapaghintay ka ba ng 3-4yrs pa???”

Why does 3-4yrs very important to me? It’s because I’d like to reach my FA dream in which he’s not in favor of. We all know that a lot of airlines prefer single girls than married. And if ever I’ll get IN and sign a contract, based from what I knew you need to be single for at least 3-4yrs. His reason why he doesn’t like me to be an FA is because He already has the means of having a family. Yeah, indeed he’s financially stable because he’s a seaman, CHEF in particular. He’s earning pounds in London in which you can say “na buhay na buhay ka na talaga sa kanya”...

“Kahit daw di na ko magwork kayang-kaya na nga”...

And according to him based from my work, I really don’t need to be an FA, because..

“okay na daw salary and incentives ko para mabuhay dito sa Pinas na hindi malalayo sa family and loved ones ko”... “Ano pa daw bang hinahanap ko, bakit di daw ako makuntento sa kung anong meron ako ngayon”...

My point was I’m thinking of what about my lifelong dream??? Would I just disregard it and put it to waste? Knowing that there’s a voice inside me saying to reach and go for it. I prayed, really prayed for it that he could open his heart for the idea that this is my DREAM and I want to fulfil it, and that he should wait a little longer. But he remained close-minded about my FA dream. And I guess that’s a sign that I should end my relationship with him, and that he should find someone else that can marry him just as he wished, NOW. I have decided, it was really so hard for me to decide, to choose from love and a dream that I want to be for real, and there I chose to follow my heart in reaching my dream, and said I love you Goodbye... I now believe with what I heard from the movie “I LOVE YOU GOODBYE” that sometimes I LOVE YOU means GOODBYE....

He wasn’t really supportive of me with that dream, and I think that “partly” it contributed why I failed a lot of times this year. I didn’t get his BLESSING of me reaching my FA dream....

So now guys, can you tell me if I did the right thing or what???...

Also, I would like to take this opportunity to thank my fellow FA aspirants... Thanks for sharing your thoughts or experiences regarding your applications. And because I’m taking this journey in fulfilling my FA dream, I met a lot of FA wannabe's whom I gained as friends... Even though I lost a bf, I’m still very thankful to meet and have gained new friends... And me being Ms. Brightside, I’m really looking on the brighter side of life, that when one door closes, a window will soon open... and I’m looking forward to that this coming year 2010.

Let’s all pray that all our wishes for the coming year, 2010 be for real. And that we can all SOAR and FLY HIGH. =)


HAPPY NEW YEAR EARTHLINGS! Ü